Therapy changes you by helping you understand and accept who you really are.
If we work together, my first task will be to earn your trust that whatever you share with me will be met with respect, empathy, and curiosity. The therapeutic process is a creative endeavor that is different for each individual I work with, so I will encourage you to express what works for you and what doesn’t, and I take seriously the importance of tailoring my approach to your needs. Often some of the most healing moments in therapy happen when you take a risk to let me know how I have let you down.
The idea is to create a place where you can say anything that comes into your mind.
We will work practically and collaboratively on the everyday issues in your life, but I have learned that lasting psychological change happens from deep work, and deep work requires me to be receptive to what you need me to know but don’t yet have words for. This is expressed through feelings, sensations, relational patterns, slips of the tongue, dreams, images, postures, gestures, held breath, and fantasies. These are the aspects of your experience we will attempt to attend to and understand.
It’s necessary to revisit the past in order to understand the genesis of current suffering. Exploring the past is productive when it increases self-compassion by illuminating the relationship between past events and current challenges, and when it allows for the opportunity to process emotions that were previously overwhelming. This is done in the present moment, often by slowing down and feeling into painful places inside that we normally avoid. This is embodied work, so I will occasionally invite you to notice your bodily sensations, or help you explore patterns of movement or breathing.
While therapy expands one’s understanding of the past, it is ultimately about finding greater freedom, ease, and fulfillment in the present.
From a place of self-awareness and self-acceptance, you can begin to risk experimenting with new ways of being in the world. In my experience it is the self-awareness and self-compassion that are transformative, and the “tools” that many people seek only become useable if there is also a re-tooling of the inner world.
Finally, much of our personal life and self-concept is shaped by events that proceed our births and socio-cultural factors that are hard to reflect on.
Generations of ancestors have influenced our personal histories, and we are embedded in cultures and political institutions that shape our experience.
It is essential to consider these larger social forces to fully make sense of our lives, and including these factors in the therapeutic process helps empower people by relating their personal difficulties to systems of power and oppression.