In everyday conversation, ambivalence is often used as a synonym for indecision or indifference. It means something more though; having “simultaneous conflicting feelings” is different than not knowing, or not caring, what you feel or want. Ambivalence is a state of psychic tension in which part of you wants one thing, and part of you wants another. This state of dynamic tension can be uncomfortable, and can manifest as anxiety. Because “knowing what you want,” “single-minded ambition,” and “whole-hearted loving” are held up as unqualified good things in our culture, ambivalence gets looked down upon or treated as weakness or deficiency.
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